Mashable - spiders could eat all humans in one year, and this petition wants to make it happen. Yes, spiders could eat all humans on earth in one year, but will US government gridlock foil their plans? Here's a quote from the petition:
"While we, the undersigned, are certain the spiders are doing the best they can, it's clear that they could use some help. We call on the United States government to utilize whatever resources it deems necessary and effective to help the spiders in their noble cause. We're sending our petition to Sen. Al Franken because he's one of the few people in Washington who we sort of half-trust to not initiate surveillance on us or flag our tax returns for signing such a petition."
Hopefully Al's still got a sense of humour.