Tuesday, August 23, 2016

In case you're wondering who's going to be the next Trump...

In case you're wondering who's going to be the next Trump for the Republican party, don't worry. Matt Taibbi has already silverback-assraped The Next One into a soft white foam:

Rolling Stone - Curt Schilling is the next Donald Trump. The derp is strong with this one:

More recently, Schilling worked at ESPN, where he was paid $2.5 million a year to be an analyst.

He needed the money. Soon after his playing career ended, he blew his $50 million fortune on a failed video game venture, a fiasco that cost Rhode Island taxpayers $75 million.

After that, he fell back into the ESPN gig, which should have been easy money. For all his other qualities, Schilling is an excellent baseball analyst (although, humorously, his ex-teammate and rival Pedro Martinez is better).

But Curt couldn't keep his job. As is usually the case with people who can't hold on to gravy-train situations, the culprit was addiction. In Schilling's case, it wasn't booze or pills, but line-crossing political rants.

A hardcore religious conservative, Schilling can't stop posting crazy stuff online. Like Trump, he is a meme fanatic, learning much of what he knows about the world from bite-size informational crap-dumplings shared on Facebook.

He's railed against everything from evolution ("Hey clown, why don't apes still evolve into humans if that is the path?") to Hillary Clinton ("She should be buried under a jail somewhere") to Black Lives Matter (a "terrorist" group).

When Schilling compared Muslims to Nazis last summer, ESPN merely suspended him instead of canning him outright. Schilling appeared to accept responsibility, saying, "bad decisions have consequences and this was a bad decision in every way on my part."

To be fair, that's not really Ann Coulter level wharrgarbl. I don't know if he can get elected anywhere when he's only clocking in at about #300 on the Republican Idiot Rankings.

And here's the political analysis:

Having proven incapable of running a business, being a good steward of either his own money or the taxpayers', or holding down the world's cushiest job, Schilling naturally decided to get into politics.

Don't bet against him winning a Senate seat in my home state of Massachusetts, either. His would be a victory for the cause of ignorance and tone-deafness perhaps even exceeding Trump's capture of the Republican nomination.

Schilling's biggest political crime isn't his ranting about subjects he knows nothing about, his insistence on arguing science with scientists, or his pathological touchiness about being labeled a racist even as he makes endless unprovoked sorties into explosive racial/ethnic controversies.

No, the baffling thing is how miserable he is in the face of great fortune.

Understanding that there's a distinction between being smart and being educated, Schilling got to be filthy rich without being either, thanks to that winning genetic lottery ticket hanging off his right shoulder.

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