der Spargel - watch us beg for Emmanuel Macron's cock in our tight assholes. My god, the flowery ingratiation goes on for paragraph after paragraph. Here's the title FFS:
Shooting Star: French Economics Minister Macron Means Business
He's a shooting star! Wow, he must be awesome! And he means business too! OMG he sounds so butch!
Here's the very first question they ask this business-meaning shooting star:
Mr. Macron, why are you so popular?
Why not also ask him why he is so wise, and why he writes such good books? Or do you guys fear the irony of Nietzsche?
In the 4th paragraph, the outright cockgobbling begins:
At age 38, Macron has the smooth face of a very young man, with harmonious, intelligent features. When he concentrates on something, as he does now, his eyes narrow slightly, "yeux de velours" -- velvet eyes -- as some articles in the French media describe them. It's an unusually gentle attribute for a politician, a sign of an equally unusual penchant that is attributed to him.
OMG he's so gentle! His features are harmonious and intelligent, like a Bach sonata or Ptolemy's model of the crystal spheres or something! And he has such velvet eyes! My god, is the author trying to write homoerotic libertarian porn?
"People probably like sincerity and honesty," he says.
Hint: if a fellow is being sincere and honest because people like it, then he's not being sincere or honest.
The willing throatfuck continues:
Macron has potential as a new standard bearer. His youth alone is a sensation in a country that has been governed for decades by a group of politicians who all seem to look alike, with the same faces, the same names and the same résumés. He succeeds over and over in striking the right tone. He can sound conciliatory, but also brash and demanding. But he always remains polite and never raises his voice.
Spiegel is making him out to be more and more a handsome young rent-boy with every sentence. I mean seriously, this reads like a backwoods sodomist's Justin Bieber fanfic, doesn't it? I mean, that was paragraph fucking twelve FFS, and I still haven't seen anything about his policies, just repeated throatfuck noises. Who the hell is this guy?
But how, and for whom, will he put this potential to use? Macron has rapidly risen to rather dizzying heights, and this is a reflection of his success -- and of how far he could fall again. But it doesn't make him humble. In a recent speech, he somewhat shamelessly compared himself to Jeanne d'Arc, locked in a fearless battle to promote new ideas and overcome ossified structures.
Oh fuck god come on. Bend over further why don't you. He still can't see your small intestine.
France, says Macron, may appear to be stuck, but his country is not incapable of reform: "There are a number of Frances," and most French want to live in a modern country, he says, adding that "those who are currently protesting constitute a small minority."
Ah... wait. I think I see what's coming down the pipe.
The problem is that until now this minority has managed to paralyze the country.
Yup. Knew it.
And there you have it. Spargel spent fifteen whole paragraphs sucking Macron's cock because he's out to smash the unions, and the German kleptocracy represented by Spargel loves anyone who smashes the unions. So they suck his tiny shrivelled Thatcherite banker's penis for fifteen paragraphs.
What's so fucking pathetic about the Germans is they can foist this garbage on their readership with a straight face. I guess most Germans are such low-grade morons that they don't see the utter embarrassing hilarity of their own press.