Business Insider - kid survives Brussels terrorist attack after already surviving Boston and Paris terrorist attack. Quote:
An American Mormon missionary has been injured in the Brussels attacks - after surviving bombings in both Boston and Paris.
Mason Wells, 19, from Utah was feet away from an explosion at the Belgian Zaventem airport on Tuesday, one of three attacks across the city which killed at least 31 people and left more than 100 injured.
First, it's not like I wish the kid any harm, but after the third time I think he should maybe ask God why he's always being attacked by terrorists.
"It’s incredible he’d be so close to more than one of these," Bishop Scott Bond of the Latter Day Saints Church in Sandy, Utah, told The New York Daily News.
No kidding! Maybe you should be sending your young missionaries to somewhere safer, like Vermont.
“I think any of us would be seriously shaken, but I think he’s someone who could handle this better than anybody. He’s the kind of young man to somehow turn this into a positive,” he added.
Into a positive? It's not like being bitten by a radioactive spider, dude.
Chris Lambson, a friend of the Wells family, said he thinks divine interventions have helped the young man survive in the face of such extraordinary circumstances.
A divine intervention would have been for God to tell the more radical followers of his Arabian prophet to please wait a sec for that young Mormon kid over there to leave the area before blowing yourselves up, kthxbye.
Or maybe for God to tell the more radical followers of his Arabian prophet to maybe quit being such assholes and maybe try bringing a bit of happiness and joy into the world, y'know, since that might persuade a heck of a lot more people about the rightness of their God's teachings.
It's not divine intervention when you survive being struck by lightning three times; but it possibly is divine intervention when you are struck by lightning three times.
The former high school football and lacrosse player had four months left on his two-year Mormon mission, and was planning to major in engineering at the University of Utah.
NOTE TO SELF: STAY AWAY FROM ALL BRIDGES AND BUILDINGS IN UTAH