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Thursday, February 4, 2016

And the price of gold continues to rise, as... as... um....


Gold:


And since December, the price of gold continues to rise, on the back of continued US dollar strength....

Uh, no wait. What I meant to say was: the price of gold continues to rise, as fear spreads of global deflation....

Uh....

The price of gold continues to rise on the back of economic collapse in China, a source of 25% of global demand for gold....

Um...

The price of gold continues to rise as the United States enters a monetary tightening cycle....

No wait, I got it now! This one works! The price of gold continues to rise, buoyed by a price collapse across the entire commodity complex....

Fuck I dunno. Where's Reuters' Headline Manatee when you need him?

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