Friday, August 21, 2015

Doom news for your weekend reading

Well, the China yuan story is bullshit, the China manufacturing story is old news and pretty inconsequential, the September Fed rate hike story is just childish, there's no fundamental reason for the US market to crash....

So why did the market really go down today? Why is $VIX at 28 to end the day?

Let's try to find some new narratives for Business Insider to frighten us with! Cos the old ones are stupid, and we need something new if we want to get $VIX up to the next level!

Yahoo Finance - Ford's Europe sales rise 5.3% yoy in July. Um... not much reason to sell, there.

Reuters - North Korea goes on war footing. There we go! Because I'm sure China will allow that to happen, and the North Korean army of starving peasants will just roll over the US armed forces... no, that doesn't work.

Bloomberg - Rob Ford says brother will run to replace Harper. Um... even if plausible, he'd first have to sit through 4 years of Mulcair as PM. No reason to sell US stocks. Plenty of reason, though, to mock Yahoo Fiance's smartphone app for including that in my news feed just cos I've followed Ford Motor Co.'s stock price.

CNN - NASA: earth definitely not facing imminent threat from asteroid. That's it! That must be it! Because if we're not facing imminent doom from an asteroid impact in September, then why would NASA go to the trouble of denying it? They've never felt the need to deny the possibility of imminent doom before!

Stock up your gold!

Er! Mah! Gerd!

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