Friday, February 6, 2015

Really reaching for the news here


Really reaching for news here. You know by now that the US economy isn't in freefall after all, and instead of decent commentary on Greece all you're getting is uninformed bullshit from American talking-head clowns like Michelle Caruso-Cabrera whose only claim to fame is having once interviewed a few Greeks.

So, instead of piling that bullshit onto your plate, here's some completely different news:

The Week - Katy Perry is recruiting for the Illuminati again?!? Yup, IKN was right after all. Though y'know, it is kinda amateurish for a secretive one world government organization to go out of the way to reveal all their plans in hidden messages during the goddamn Superbowl half-time show. I mean, someone might be watching, right?

The Scotsman With Nae Trews - Lawyer jailed for reporting that Nazis were going to bomb the London Olympics with stolen Russian nuke. The real tragedy here is that, with all their budget and all the surveillance cameras, MI6 still did Nazi this coming.

BBC - Dutch chimps learn Scottish accent. Aw, come on - just because they learned to make low-pitched grunts doesn't mean they sound Scottish. They also have to learn how to swear and how to throw up tikka masala.

HuffPo - Texas dildo laws are "crazy" says Florida congressman. Yup, Texas has a law that says you can't have six or more dildos in your possession. That's some small government you've got there, Rick Perry!

Bloomberg - Bible Belt can't wait for "Fifty Shades of Grey" movie. Because S&M is godly.

NY Daily News - large-breasted webcam girl who did a library striptease and you've already clicked through haven't you.


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