Friday, January 30, 2015

MY GOD SHELDON YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD: an Ottotrans for the ages


I was looking at horrible charts today, and took at a gander at Keek:




Holy shit, what?

Wait, is this the social media company that issued this press release?:

Keek Inc.'s board of directors has authorized the company to seek financing through the issuance of secured notes of up to $5-million. The company intends to use the proceeds from the notes for general working capital purposes.

The notes will bear interest at a rate of 12 per cent per annum on the principal amount outstanding and will be repayable in 12 months from the date issued. The notes will be secured by a general security agreement over all present and future assets and intangibles of the company. In consideration for the notes, the company has agreed to issue an aggregate of up to five million common share purchase warrants. Each warrant will entitle the holder to purchase one common share of the company at an exercise price of 10 cents per share at any time up to three years after the date of issue. The warrants will be subject to a statutory four-month hold period.

And meanwhile they were divesting themselves of their oil and gas assets? WTF, LOL, BRB, YKINOK, IYKWIMAITYD?

So what made their shares pop nearly 100%? All I could find was this one single NR:

Stockhouse - Keek reminds people that Twitter, um, exists. Or something.

No seriously, I shit you not. This NR is a work of art.

Behold!:

NEW YORK, NY and TORONTO, ON--(Marketwired - January 29, 2015) - With an announcement this week by Twitter and recent comments by Facebook about the importance of longer video formats, Keek Inc. (TSX VENTURE: KEK) (OTCQX: KEEKF), the rapidly growing social video network, today said that the mobile social video market has entered a new era.

Uh....

Okay, Twitter and Facebook exist. And you guys exist too. And video is a thing.

OK, I follow you so far. Now what?

Alex Cameron, CEO of Keek said, "We've anticipated this move by major social media companies."

Uh... okay, good for you. So... you've just signed a big contract with Twitter, or something?

"The timeframe format we know and believe to be the winner has been validated and it will mean advertisers and content producers building creative assets in the right context for this format, more rapidly. This will substantially support and establish the 30+ second format as the new norm."

So... no direct relation to the above announcement from Twitter, right? I mean, besides you both are on the internet.

"Short-form mobile video is changing the social media, advertising and entertainment industries. Keek sits in the sweet spot of the transformation, already a 36 second format where strong user completion rate meets the largest segment of advertiser creative assets."

Uh... good? But... nothing really to do with Twitter, is it?

The shift to video and its influence on mobile social media has been quick and epic in its proportion:

A 2014 KPCB Internet Trends Report by Mary Meeker stated mobile usage as a percentage of total web usage has surged from 2013 to 2014. In North America, it nearly doubled from 11% to 19%. Global mobile app and mobile advertising topped $38 Billion in 2013.

Moreover, online video's estimated share of global ad spend will increase almost 50% from 1.9% of the total in 2014 to 2.8% of the total in 2017, according to ZenithOptimedia's new Advertising Expenditure forecast.

Innovation in social media is critical to growth and attracting new users.

Uh... good? And your relation to this is... what, now? You making money already? You going to tell me you're making money?

"Video represents the next growth curve in social media, especially with the share of internet usage shifting to mobile users and their strong preferences for video. Keek's 73 million members embracing our mobile video format of up to 36 seconds is proof," said Cameron.

Uh... so... you will pay off those $5 million in secured notes by October then, with all the money you're... you are getting money, aren't you? Or something? Coupons, maybe? Are they giving you coupons at least?

Keek's community of over 73 million including major media and brand partners generates raw, organic Keeks, in particular using #DiscoverMe, its most popular hashtag dedicated to identifying emerging talent.

Uh... yeah, 73 million users, awesome, you keep saying that. So... y'know... given your market cap of $15 million as of this week's pop and that's also supposed to cover your oil and gas assets, about how much money are you making off those 73 million users right now?

About Keek

Keek is a leading mobile video social network with more than 73 million members worldwide. Keek is easy to use, fast and personal. With Keek, members around the world create and interact with videos up to 36 seconds in length and 111 characters of accompanying text, in either public or private views. Keek makes it simple for anyone to instantly create, distribute, discover and react to content in real-time across mobile devices and the web. The Keek app is available in over 190 countries across 6 global regions, and in 36 languages.

Additional investor information can be found at www.sedar.com or by contacting investors@keek.com.

Wow. And that's it.

Just feckin' wow.

Here's the Ottotrans of that article:


NEW YORK, NY and TORONTO, ON--(Marketwired - January 29, 2015) - We're Keek! You heard of Twitter and Facebook? Then buy us too! Because stuff and reasons!

Oh quick! Look at that butterfly!

Sheldon, you magnificent bastard you.


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