Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Ha ha, now even Russian hockey is going down the toilet (UPDATED)

Globe and Mail - Russian hockey league on verge of collapse. Ha ha you Russkies suck. Also,

Foreign Policy - Pooty-poot's dream of a Russian NHL collapsing as his economy tanks.

Don't think for a second that hockey players are going to stick around in a shithole Nazi dictatorship now that their paycheques have been cut by 50% with the collapse of the ruble, with more collapse yet to come. They avoided signing to Canadian teams for years when our dollar was at 70 cents and below; they're going to get the hell out of Russia now for sure.

Putin and Russian hockey players are a good match. Hockey players are generally regarded as tough, unrelenting, and willing to play through pain.

Yeah, except for the Russky hockey players, who are generally recognized over here as being little sissy prima-donnas who act childish when they don't get their own way and who choke at the first sign of playoff hockey. Plus they import all their little personal problems with them, so the team always has to deal with the Russian mafia extorting money from these pussies.

Players have channeled their resentment into a bromance with Putin. In recent months, this generation’s Russian stars like the Washington Capitals’ Alexander Ovechkin and the Pittsburgh Penguins’ Evgeni Malkin have expressed support for the Russian president’s actions in Ukraine.

Ovechkin, who is set to play in the NHL’s signature outdoor Winter Classic at Nationals Park on New Year’s Day, posted a picture of himself on Instagram holding a placard that said #savechildrenfromfascism, a common Russian justification for its actions in Ukraine. Ovie has even made a cameo as a little green man in a mural that shows him skating over Ukraine under text that reads “We returned what was ours.”

Oh fuck, will someone please low-bridge this twat and get him off the ice for good? It's not like the Capitals need him, they always choke in the first round of the playoffs anyway.

Over ten seasons, how many playoff points has this overpaid pussy got? 61. Patrick Kane got more than that in 5 seasons, but then again Kane's not a sissy Russian and his team doesn't choke in the playoffs. Drew Doughty's got 50 points in 5 seasons and he's a defenseman for fuck's sake. Send Ovechkin off the ice on a stretcher and hopefully he doesn't come back.

Other Russian NHL players have also expressed support for the Russian president. The Montreal Canadiens’ Sergei Gonchar posed with Malkin and a few others wearing t-shirts that showed Putin in full combat gear.

What the fuck is Gonchar doing playing for Montreal? He's washed up, why do they need him? They have PK Subban. Cut that clown Gonchar and give Jarred Tinordi some playing time. His name's Tinordi for fuck's sake.

Yes, his dad is that Tinordi. The big nasty one. The good Canadian boy who made all the Russkies want to be at the opposite end of the ice from him for a whole decade.

Colorado Avalanche goaltender Semyon Varlamov also posted a photo of him in a t-shirt with a picture of Putin and the phrase, “Crimea is ours.”

Colorado doesn't need him. Calvin Pickard has already made him obsolete. Send Varlamov back to Russky-land and tell him to pick up a gun and fight the Ukraine himself if he's so tough, the little pussy. He's pretty mundane at stopping pucks, maybe he can do better stopping bullets.

And what the fuck is Jokerit doing in the Russian league? Finland, what the fuck are you doing?

By the way, interestingly I'm not getting any more blog traffic from Russia. I wonder why?


  1. You would think that drunk pilots on patched together airplanes would be enough of a deterrent from playing in Russia.

    1. It was for Lokomotiv Yaroslavl.