Sunday, November 16, 2014

A modest proposal to counteract the present cold snap

As those of you in Ontario know, fuck snow in the ass right about now.

Happily, I'm a doer not a whiner, and I've come up with a modest proposal:

Northern Ontario is about 800,000 square kilometres, and pretty much all of that is boreal forest.

Assume a tree spacing of 5 metres: that would mean 40,000 trees per square kilometre, or 32 billion trees in north Ontario.

Let's set fire to them. All of them. Right now. While there's still time. Seriously, I've been up north and it's not like those fucking trees are doing anything useful.

At approximately 5 megajoules of heat per kilogram of wood, times I dunno maybe 100 kg per tree, times 32 billion trees, that's (uses calculator) approximately one fuck of a lot of heat.

It might not be enough to stave off winter forever, but at least it would help.

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