The big secret that you discover, as you get older, is that 99% of news stories could truthfully include the sentence "alcohol was involved".
"Russian separatists down Malaysian airliner with surface-to-air missile, killing hundreds: alcohol was involved."
"Leafs beat listless Red Wings: alcohol was involved."
"Republicans nominate Cruz as presidential candidate: alcohol was involved."
"IBM offers negative guidance for 2015, leadership decides to maintain focus on virtualization services: alcohol was involved."
It's easier for you in the long run if you just give in and join the involvement with alcohol. Everything makes more sense that way.