Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Alcohol is always involved

The big secret that you discover, as you get older, is that 99% of news stories could truthfully include the sentence "alcohol was involved".

"Russian separatists down Malaysian airliner with surface-to-air missile, killing hundreds: alcohol was involved."

"Leafs beat listless Red Wings: alcohol was involved."

"Republicans nominate Cruz as presidential candidate: alcohol was involved."

"IBM offers negative guidance for 2015, leadership decides to maintain focus on virtualization services: alcohol was involved."

It's easier for you in the long run if you just give in and join the involvement with alcohol. Everything makes more sense that way.

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