Saturday, August 9, 2014

Let's mock the Kitco gold experts, Market Narrative edition

IKN forwarded the link to me, so I guess he's too busy chatting about Argentinian soap opera starlets on twitter to mock the Kitco gold experts this week and wants me to take over:

Kitco - strong majority of gold survey participants see higher prices next week.

Now, I don't have the same slant as he does: Mickeyman already proved that what the gold "experts" are really doing is reacting the the previous week's price movements, and that's okay because that's human investing psychology and I don't expect a Kitco gold expert to be any less human than you or I.

And I don't listen to them anyway because I invest (or don't) based on the price trend relative to short-term EMA. There's no price "prediction" that's guaranteed to win, except maybe that the S&P 500 will be higher 10 years from now.

So I don't get all worked up about the Kitco gold experts.

But IKN included goaded me with this hilarious quote from the article:

Adam Hewison, president and chief strategist with INO and, is also bullish on gold, but offered another reason.

“We are extremely bullish on gold for the next five to six weeks. (We are) looking for a move to the $1,380 to $1,400 levels. Look for (Russian President Vladimir) Putin’s theft of 1.2 billion (computer) passwords to strike fear into the online world and push gold higher,” he suggested.

Cue Beaker:

Buy gold because computer password stolen by Vladimir Putin.


Yes, yes. Vladimir Putin stole 1.2 billion passwords from a bunch of online chat forums that were vulnerable to SQL injection. My account is now possibly under the control of the Russian Armed Forces as we speak.

Therefore I shall buy gold.

to... protect myself from...

russian computer hackers...

because... um...


and, um...


Dear Adam Hewison, president and chief strategist with INO and

Your reasons are bad and you should feel bad.


  1. Replies
    1. Seconded Otto. I think those Russian guys were a couple of buddies who are shopping the abounds around to spammers for a residual. But Putin.

  2. Well if this "gold price expert" gig doesn't work out for the guy, there's an opening for president of the Hair Club for Men, I hear.