Nothing serious is happening in the markets, so let's have fun today. The evil sort of fun, of course.
Jalopnik - that Zerohedge article on unsold cars is bullshit. Reposting, because Ritholtz is too much of a pussy to link to proper swearing, and because this author is much better at mocking Zerohedge's credulous repost of a fw:fw:fw: from the John Birchers:
I just keep re-reading this and wondering how any sane, intelligent person could believe it. There are so many weird assumptions here, like the idea that families used to buy a new car every year and now they don't and that's why this is happening.But Zerohedge will never retract the story because it's their duty to spread anti-Western propaganda at the behest of their Russian paymasters.
Bottom line: This is paranoid nonsense that has the tiniest bits of reality inside of it, like a giant turd sprinkled with truffles.
BBC - Ukrainian billionaire ends the Russian rebellion. Sorry to sound like Zerohedge, but this really sounds like a US operation: identify the richest and most powerful people in a country and get them on your side, and thus the war is won. In this case, no drunken AIDS-riddled Russian weekend-warrior is going to pick a fight with Akhmetov's steelworkers: the Ukraine crisis is now over.
NY Times - France sells two warships to Russia. Yup, I didn't make that up.
IKN - the Sinchao play in infinite acts. It's hilarious and it's Kafkaesque, so long as you don't own any shares of Regulus. If you do own shares of Regulus, you should suggest to them to go visit the Antakori site ASAP, maybe telephoning the neighbours in advance to let them know when and where to meet up. And bring cake.
Lowering the Bar - man sues Au Bon Pain for two octillion gigadollars. Because a dog bit him on the finger, he's routinely overcharged for coffee at La Guardia, and some Chinese people took pictures of him.