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Saturday, March 1, 2014

Yet more blog stats fun


I checked the stats to see if my bombshell PDAC announcement made even a ripple in the scum-covered midden that is the internet, and saw this:


Here are your answers:

1. I'm not sure, but the name "Dick Fondling" certainly sounds like a Republican state representative from somewhere. Arizona probably.

2. Jesus H Christ on a popsicle stick, coated in high-fructose corn syrup and being eaten alive by ants, have you not heard of Google? Michael Sadler was born Jun 3, 1780, making him 234 years old. Thus all the sagas written about him. Careful where you step!

3. If you have to ask what to wear at PDAC, student, then you probably shouldn't go. But here's my opinion:

a. if you're a female student, probably a tight black minidress. Show a hell of a lot of leg. No pantyline. Wear something off the shoulder for extra bonus points. You don't want to go into geology, girlie, you want to get a job as a personal assistant to the CFO. But you might need to work your way up from IR, so it's good to show your whore side.

b. if you're a male student, something to show how fucking blockheaded you are to get into that career. A howling wolves jacket would work, maybe with a Labatt Blue t-shirt and Molson trackpants. Wear some comfy workboots to show them you like being outdoors dropping rocks on your feet.

Basically, you're going to be surrounded by fascist investment banking cunts in Banker Blues and tailored suits, and you almost certainly want to avoid being mistaken for one of them. But you also don't want to be mistaken for an investor clown; so avoid wearing CADPAT, khakis, or any sort of slogan t-shirt.

Oh and shave and get a haircut and bathe, or people will start offering you 5-cent private placements.


2 comments:

  1. ok, i'm going to ask.

    What's CADPAT?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CADPAT

      Canadian Distruptive Pattern. It's the new digital pattern for camouflage. The Americans basically borrowed CADPAT for their own camouflage pattern.

      Any proper survivalist wears CADPAT or the US variant, not the off-the-shelf crap you find at Walmart. Because freedom.

      Delete