Friday, October 4, 2013

Two snippets of snark from PSDave

PSDave's apparently come back refreshed from his battle with the Spanish wine industry, and put up two snippets of snark:

PSDave - Venture exchange promoters finally look into the mirror.

PSDave - Dundee buys into the CNSX.

Go ahead and read those, but I've got my own point to make.

The analogue to the exploreco business model is the shyster who hires a bunch of students to go door to door, tricking little senile old ladies into buying heavily marked up natural gas contracts.

Seriously, it's that fucking infantile, and that fucking corrupt. They're selling something that nobody with any sense would buy, the boss will lie through his teeth to convince people that $5 gas is a deal, and anything he can't legally say he'll get his door-to-door hard-sell brigade to say for him.

He's not contributing to the world. He has nothing that anyone needs. His job is to unload product (his shares) at whatever price he can get (they're free to begin with, he's got a printing press for fuck's sake) to whatever clown is dumb enough to buy them.

So I don't fucking care about the fucking whining about the cost of a Venture exchange listing from any little chickenshit "CEO" of a "junior mining company". Dude, you do not run a "junior mining company", cos you're not mining anything; and you're not a "CEO" except in the utterly meaningless sense of some guy who has incorporated to avoid individual liability. If your market cap is under $20 million you are not a "CEO" of anything, at best you're a clown with a corporation.

You could always run an unlisted company, and raise your capital by phoning up your family and friends asking for a few hundred thousand here, a few hundred thousand there. Heck, maybe you could even hire some bucket shops to sell private shares for you - they've got nothing else to do nowadays, and they're fantastic high-pressure salesmen with utterly no scruples.

If you want the privilege of raising capital from strangers on respected capital markets, then you have to fucking well play by the rules. That includes publishing quarterlies, publishing an audited yearly, running every disclosure through lawyers, and maybe a few other stupid little securities rules that they put in to make sure you're not just some fucking shyster.

Because for all we know you could just be some worthless fucking loser who hires a bunch of IR and newsletter kids to go door-to-door selling your shitty Venture-listed shares to strangers.

In fact, we're all assuming that about you, mister "CEO", because you've already been caught lying to your investors, your P.Geo has been caught lying to your investors, your outside feasibility study consultant has been caught lying to your investors, you've been running an elaborate pump-and-dump where you twin a hole to give your institutional buddies a price rise to dump into, you sell short your options before the hold period ends, you've maybe even gotten a strongly worded email or two from some joke of a Canadian securities regulator asking you to please maybe retract a couple disclosures if that's fine with you sir, and all this time you've been blowing all the shareholders' money (that capital is theirs, remember?) on your own fucking lifestyle instead of maybe doing some mineral exploration.

The Canadian exchanges aren't there for your pretend business games, dumbass. They're there for real businesses with cash flow, profit, clients, customers, a brand, or (re the "Venture") even just a research program or an identified exploitable unfilled market niche. If you want to be taken seriously as a real business, you better fucking start acting like one.

If you don't like the costs and the responsibilities of being listed on the Venture, but you still want to scam idiots, then by all means go get listed on the Nex or the Pinks. Go ahead. Go be on a joke exchange. You deserve to be on a joke exchange. You don't make money - in fact all you do is spend shareholder money as if it's yours, without any fiduciary responsibility.

I never thought I'd have sympathy for that vile disgusting sociopathic cunt Conrad Black, Baron of Crossharbour.

But my god it's so damn unfair that he got thrown in prison for stealing shareholder money while over a thousand clowns on the Venture do the exact same thing and get away with it.

How many V-listed explorecos does John Kaiser say there are? 1800? And he thought only 500 needed to go extinct? Tell you what, buddy: by your own table, easily 1500 of those companies should be off the V and put on the joke exchanges.

None of those 116 shells needs to be on the Venture - I don't understand the fucking point of paying to put a placeholder on an exchange. If it needs to be tradeable put it on the Nex.

Easily 95% of the explorecos are jokes run by lying clowns and inept fools who will never discover anything, or if they do they'll fuck it up somehow - let's boot another 470 off the grownups exchange and put them on the Nex or the pinks.

No company that finds it hard to maintain at least enough working capital to maintain a listing without a dilutive financing should be allowed on the V. For fuck's sake, is that how they taught you to run a business back at community college? If your cash flow is negative and your bank is fast approaching zero, declare fucking bankruptcy while you still can. There's another 632 gone. I don't give a fuck where they go.

And I daresay that of the "resource feasibility stage companies with more than $200K working capital", probably at least 80% of them are joke companies that shouldn't be on a real exchange, because their "resource" is actually utterly unfeasible at anything approaching a realistic gold price. EVG, GNH, ATC, ITH, anyone, I don't care, the properties were ultimately proven fucking worthless, they don't deserve a listing once their failure is evident. You don't get to sit on the V whining for 5 years, diluting out your shareholders to maintain your crack habit, waiting for gold to go back up to $2000 so you can get another kick at the can. You can go sit on that property privately. So let's say we get rid of another 330. It's probably for the best, since otherwise all these "resource feasibility stage companies" will continue to be tempted to break NI 43-101 reporting rules or hire stock promoters to tell the lies that company officers are not allowed to.

That adds up to 1548, but let's give 3% of these listings the benefit of the doubt and say that only 1500 have to go.

How the fuck has the Venture ended up with 1500 worthless listings to begin with?

And they are worthless. The point of being listed on an exchange is that your shitty fucking stock goes up in price over time. You're supposed to be making shareholders money - either in a dividend, or a capital gain. Fuck, even RIM Blackberry has a product that they could reasonably be expected to make money on if only they fired off all the fuckhead management from Nortel and BCE and begged their laid-off competent product engineers to please come back.

One fun side-effect of the "optionality of gold" argument is that we no longer need fifteen hundred shitty fucking explorecos to invest in of we want to bet that gold goes up in price; we can just buy GLD now.

So why are these companies still around?

Feel free to forward this to any idiot "junior mining" "CEO". Tell them where you got it. I'll be happy if it inspires a few hundred of these clowns to just wrap up their shitty companies and go buy into a fucking Taco Bell franchise.

Because really, that's about the competence and scruples that these clowns have shown over the past 2-3 years.

Also, tell them to go fuck themselves.


  1. Let's segway this snippet from Canada Stockwatch into the post above. What the fuck is a 26 year old doing raising money for a CPC?

    The TSX Venture Exchange fell 3.49 points to 943.85 Thursday. Hampton Securities, a Toronto brokerage, is having trouble finding enough investors for David Bernholtz's capital pool shell, AH Capital Corp., which first filed a prospectus for a $200,000 initial public offering last November with hopes of listing in February, 2013. The shell has since filed an amended prospectus and says it still plans to go public, hopefully by March 31, 2014. By then, the newly married Mr. Bernholtz will be 27 years old.

    I still got another week to put a dent into Spain's wine supply.

    1. Yup and it is absolutly beautiful here. I would not be suprised if I am not living here in a few years.

    2. Not if you're still investing in the Venture, you won't.