Sunday, September 25, 2011

Open letter to US Republicans

Seriously. If you want to be Republican, go ahead. Maybe you're a social conservative, and hate gays and Mexicans... okay, I can accept that. I once dated a skinhead.

Or maybe you're a fiscal conservative... um, in which case really you should have supported Bill Clinton, right? He was the last Prez to have ever balanced the budget.

Or maybe you're a Plutocrat, and you want the poor to die and their mass graves to get a Tiffany's built on top - okay, that's fine too. I'm a Satanist and I've read Ragnar Redbeard and Ayn Rand, and I'm no longer poor, so if you want the return of Dickensian brutality, fine.

Seriously, I'm okay with all that. If a society's dominant ethos is to hate gays and mexicans, and give me a 3% tax cut to kill the children of the poor, I can go along with that quite well since it doesn't hurt me. In school they made sure they beat me into submission so I would accept whatever stupid fucking dominant ethos I disagreed with. So if you want the world to be a brutal hellscape, I'm fine with that.

But if you're a Republican, why would you vote for any one of the following idiots to lead your party into the next election?

Exhibit 1: Michelle Bachmann and her little escapade chatting about jackbooted thugs forcing injections on little girls:

And days later:

Bachmann comes out talking like a conspiracy fruitcake, and then just a few days later denies ever having made the statement. You'd really vote for someone who's not only an anti-scientific nutcase, but also a two-faced liar?

(PS, the line about jackbooted thugs forcing injections on little girls - fap fap fap fap fap, is all I have to say. God, Bachmann should be writing porn scripts.)

Rick Perry, meanwhile, is not only nuts enough to take a laser-sighted pistol with him when he walks his dog, but also to get his own collage on craziness:

He also, by the way, days later, lied about having said Bernanke was guilty of treason. Because he's yet another fruitcake who not only shoots from the hip (made easy with a laser sight, actually), but also doesn't have the balls to actually stand by his lunatic statements.

You really have two candidates there who do little more than string together words found on Worldnet Daily into roughly-hewn sentences.

Finally, here's that glorious leading moderate, Mitt Romney:

Seriously. This guy is the moderate? "Corporations are people"? Then that must mean that people are corporations, in which case you should also have the government bail you out for your asinine investing errors, right? Instead of, y'know, stealing your money out of your pocket and bankrupting your retirement plan just to bail out banksters who make asinine idiotic investment decisions.

I mean, seriously. You Republicans are fucked. Ron Paul really is the most moderate, least crazy candidate that you have running for you right now. And if it's one thing I'm not, it's a Rondroid. My god you are so fucked.


  1. FWIW, I actually listened to a recording of the stump speech that dude Cain made in Florida and it made sense that he won the straw poll easily. It was actually full of common sense (and i ain't no gopper). But in the end, meh. As long as the next Prez isn't Bachman, Perry or Palin it hardly matters who gets the job. Both sides will continue dumbass monetary policy and both sides will continue to bomb the shit out of other countries.

  2. You mean John McCain? He finished second-last in his class at the military academy, so he was no genius. But yeah, he did say some things that should have resonated, along the lines of "only a fool glorifies war".

    US will certainly follow dumbass financial policy, because it's secretly run by the kleptocrats now. And certainly will follow interventionist military policy until they go completely broke (military spending is a major cause of their debt). Strangely, Ron Paul has made noises about being a Jeffersonian isolationist... but I doubt he'd be able to get a single vote to support him in that sort of move, if he ever won the presidency.